A child chatting with friends while playing Roblox, joining a Discord server about their favorite game, or exchanging messages on Snapchat probably doesn't look unusual to most parents. And in most cases, it isn't. But these everyday online interactions are also the spaces where grooming often begins - not with threats or explicit messages, but with ordinary conversations that gradually build trust.

Understanding grooming and how it has changed in the past few years can help parents recognize risks without seeing danger in every online friendship.

Key points of this article

  • Online grooming is not a new threat, but the methods offenders use to reach children are constantly evolving.
  • Today, grooming often starts in everyday digital spaces such as multiplayer games, messaging apps, and online communities - not only on social media.
  • New technologies, including AI, make it easier for offenders to create convincing fake identities and build trust with children.
  • Despite new technologies, the psychology behind grooming remains the same: offenders exploit children's need for friendship, attention, and a sense of belonging.
  • For parents, open communication, healthy digital habits, and ongoing involvement remain the most effective ways to reduce risk.

Online grooming is evolving. How?

Grooming is a process in which an adult deliberately builds a relationship with a child to gain their trust before exploiting or abusing them. While grooming can happen both offline and online, the internet has fundamentally changed how easily offenders can reach children and how difficult it can be for adults to notice what is happening.

Unlike offline grooming, where contact is usually limited by geography and opportunity, online grooming can begin anywhere a child interacts with others: in multiplayer games, on social media, through messaging apps, in livestream chats, or within online communities built around shared interests. A single offender can contact dozens or even hundreds of children without leaving home.

What does online grooming usually look like? It rarely starts with explicit messages. Instead, offenders often:

  • show an unusual interest in the child's hobbies, problems, or daily life
  • offer emotional support or compliments to quickly build trust
  • encourage private conversations, moving from public chats to direct messages or encrypted apps
  • ask the child to keep the relationship secret from parents or friends
  • gradually introduce more personal or sexual topics, often only after trust has been established
  • use guilt, pressure, or emotional manipulation if the child tries to end the conversation

Why is online grooming becoming more common and a bigger challenge? Here are some of the reasons.

Children are growing up in a much more connected online world

Today, many children receive their first connected device at a younger age than previous generations. They play multiplayer games, join group chats, watch livestreams, and communicate with friends across multiple platforms every day. Online interaction has become a normal part of childhood - not an exception.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Digital spaces allow children to learn, create, collaborate, and maintain friendships. However, the more places children interact online, the more opportunities there are for someone with harmful intentions to approach them.

Did you know… 
During the pandemic, many children were forced to spend a lot of their time online, not just for fun, but also to learn and communicate. Unfortunately, this also influenced online grooming. According to the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), the amount of online child sexual abuse imagery involving primary school-aged children increased by more than 1,000% during the COVID-19 pandemic. The charity warns that many of these cases began with online grooming, where offenders first gained children's trust before persuading or coercing them into creating sexual images or videos. The pandemic accelerated children's digital lives, and the underlying risks have continued to evolve as young people spend more time in online games, messaging apps, and digital communities.

Communication has changed

Online conversations today may look quite different from those of just a few years ago. Instead of exchanging only text messages, children can communicate through disappearing messages, voice chats, video calls, private group conversations, and gaming platforms where communication happens naturally during play.

These features make online interaction more engaging, but they can also make harmful conversations more difficult for adults to notice. That does not mean parents should monitor every message. Instead, it highlights why ongoing conversations between parents and children about online relationships are more important than relying on technical solutions alone.

AI is creating new opportunities, but also new risks

Artificial intelligence (AI) is changing many aspects of digital life, including the way people communicate online. AI itself is rarely the problem. It offers enormous benefits for education, creativity, and everyday life. But like many technologies, it can also be misused. AI may make it easier to create convincing fake profiles, generate realistic profile pictures, translate conversations into different languages, or produce messages that feel more personal and trustworthy.

As these tools become more accessible, distinguishing between genuine and fake identities may become increasingly difficult not only for children, but for adults as well. Additionally, child abusers are using AI to create illegal content and even childlike chatbots. This content might also be more difficult to detect using traditional law enforcement systems, which makes this an incredibly serious issue.

While AI is still only one piece of the puzzle, it reminds us that online risks continue to evolve alongside technology.

Technology changes, manipulation doesn't

Although digital platforms continue to change, the psychology behind online grooming remains consistent. Children are rarely manipulated because they are careless or naïve. More often, offenders exploit normal emotional needs like friendship, curiosity, acceptance, attention, or the desire to belong.

That is why conversations about online safety should focus not only on technology, but also on relationships. Helping children understand healthy online friendships, personal boundaries, and manipulation equips them with skills that remain valuable regardless of which app or game becomes popular next.

Watch the Unlocked 403 episode and find out what you can do to keep your child safe online

What parents can do

The goal is not to keep children away from technology. The internet is where they learn, play, create, and stay in touch with friends. Instead, the aim is to help them build the skills and confidence to recognize risky situations and know they can always turn to a trusted adult for help.

Keep the conversation going

The most effective protection often starts long before a problem arises. Make online safety an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time talk. Ask your child what games they enjoy, who they spend time with online, or what new apps they're using. When children feel heard without fear of punishment or judgment, they are much more likely to speak up if something makes them uncomfortable.

Set boundaries together

Clear family rules can help children develop healthy digital habits without making technology feel forbidden. Agree on when and where devices can be used, encourage regular breaks from screens, and make time for offline activities, hobbies, and face-to-face friendships. For younger children, it can also help to use devices in shared family spaces, where parents can naturally stay involved without constantly looking over their shoulder.

Do you want to set clear rules and help children develop healthy digital habits? Our Family Agreement can help!

Teach privacy from an early age

Help your child understand that not everything belongs online. Personal information such as their home address, school, phone number, or daily routine should never be shared with strangers. One simple rule many children can remember is: if you wouldn't want your grandparents to see it, it's probably best not to post it online.

Read more about oversharing in our article

Choose age-appropriate platforms

Not every app, game, or online community is designed for children. Before your child downloads a new app or creates an account, take a moment to check its recommended age rating, privacy settings, and communication features. A few minutes of research can help you make informed decisions together.

Some messaging apps were created with younger children in mind – preventing strangers from joining conversations and giving parents more oversight than traditional messaging platforms.

Encourage critical thinking

One of the most valuable digital skills is learning to question what we see online. Teach children that not everyone is who they claim to be, that online profiles can be fake, and that information should be verified through trustworthy sources. These conversations not only help protect them from grooming, but also strengthen their overall digital resilience.

Stay involved without spying

Showing interest in your child's online life is more effective than secretly monitoring every conversation. Ask them to show you their favorite games, creators, or communities, and regularly check in about their online experiences. Staying involved helps you notice changes in behavior and creates opportunities to talk before small concerns become bigger problems.

Lead by example

Children learn as much from what we do as from what we say. Demonstrate healthy digital habits yourself: protect your own privacy, use strong passwords, think before sharing personal information, and put your phone away during family time. When children see adults using technology thoughtfully, they're more likely to develop those habits themselves.

Expert insight

"One piece of advice stands above all the rest: build an open, judgment-free relationship with your child, where no topic is off-limits and they are never punished for bringing you bad news.

Children should know that they can talk to a trusted adult about strange messages, uncomfortable situations, or secrets they have been asked to keep, even if they have broken a family rule, secretly chatted with someone, or downloaded an inappropriate app. Fear of punishment is one of the main reasons children stay silent, and people who seek to exploit them may deliberately test whether they can keep secrets and whether they feel safe confiding in an adult. This does not require long conversations about online safety every day. Short, regular moments of genuine interest in what a child does online can build trust and show them that their digital world matters.

Basic safeguards such as parental controls and agreed rules for technology use can help, but they should not replace communication. Parents do not need to be technology experts or have an extra hour available every day, and the trusted adult does not always have to be a parent. A grandparent, older sibling, teacher, school psychologist, or another close adult can also provide support. Protecting children from online grooming cannot be the responsibility of families alone: schools, prevention programs, digital platforms, and the wider community also have an important role to play, particularly when a family is under long-term stress or facing difficult circumstances."

- Kamila Ryšánková, child psychologist and play therapist

Final thoughts

As technology evolves, so will the ways offenders try to reach and manipulate children. New apps, AI tools, and online communities will continue to change the digital landscape, making it impossible to prepare for every new platform or trend. Instead of trying to keep up with every technological change, parents can focus on something far more lasting: helping children build the confidence to recognize manipulation, question suspicious behavior, and know that they can always ask for help. Those are skills that remain relevant no matter what the internet looks like five or ten years from now.

Frequently asked questions 

Has online grooming become more common?

Organizations around the world report increasing numbers of grooming cases and child sexual exploitation online. While greater awareness and reporting play a role, children's growing digital presence and the expansion of online communities are important contributing factors.

Where does online grooming happen today?

Online grooming can happen on almost any platform where children can communicate with others, but some environments naturally create more opportunities than others. Social media apps such as Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok allow private messaging, while platforms like Discord make it easy to move conversations into private servers or direct messages. Multiplayer games such as Roblox, Fortnite, or Minecraft often include text or voice chat, allowing players to build relationships over time. Groomers may also target children in livestream chats or fan communities. It's important to remember that these platforms are not inherently dangerous. The risk comes from people who misuse these spaces to build trust and manipulate young users, which is why parental involvement and open conversations remain so important.

Is AI making online grooming more dangerous?

AI is not causing online grooming, but it may help offenders create more convincing fake identities, communicate more effectively, or automate parts of their manipulation. As AI tools become more advanced, digital literacy becomes increasingly important for both children and adults.

Should parents monitor all of their child's online conversations?

Not necessarily. Every family is different, but experts consistently argue that open communication and trust are among the strongest protective factors. Children who feel safe talking to their parents are more likely to seek help if something feels wrong.

Can online grooming happen in games?

Yes. Multiplayer games often include chat functions, voice communication, or opportunities to build friendships over time. Most interactions are completely positive, but parents should remember that online games are social spaces, not just entertainment.

What is the best way to protect children?

No single app or parental control can prevent every risk. The most effective approach combines age-appropriate privacy settings, healthy digital habits, ongoing conversations, and a relationship where children know they can ask for help without fear of blame.